The World is Your Oyster and All the Buses are a Stage

Melissa and I have moved into an apartment in the Barranco District in Lima. It’s quaint and charming. It’s very bohemian and it’s where all the starving artists live.

It’s a bit like New York  City’s Greenwich Village I suppose.

It’s where Friends would be set if Friend’s took place in Lima.

Anyway, as the starving artist district, they are eager to showcase their talents and products. In the nearby plaza, we have seen exceptional painters and musicians playing. That seems to be prime spot for the people who’ve got something to showcase. As for the others, well…

Let’s take a small step back. We take lots of public transportation to get around. I have observed that when I get on buses from Barranco heading somewhere else, a lot of the artists that aren’t quite fit for the plaza have decided that buses are an acceptable stage to showcase their… talents.

First off, when I’m on the bus, I just want to sit in silence with all my other new friends that I don’t want to see again. I’m sure they feel the same way. We broadcast that by not talking to each other. Bus drivers help this by playing the radio loudly, and I think the only available station for buses in Lima is Doobie Brothers Radio. Lima bus drivers apparently love the Doobie Brothers.

Then, just when as I think I’m going to get another rendition of Black Water on the way to the gym, some would be musician or rapper gets on the bus and professes loudly that they will now be treating us to the best that The World of Buses has to offer, and the bus drivers ARE COMPLICIT in allowing them to do so by turning off the music so that the rest of us one time friends can be serenaded by off-key singer-songwriters and monotone rappers.

To date, my favorite “artist’ was said monotone rapper. He had a small, but very loud speaker worn around his neck and all he did was rap over the song that he was playing. Only, when the tough parts came up, he would just say “yeah, yeah, yeah.” He sucked and had no bus presence.

Really liked Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls though, if his attire was anything to go by.

Every so often, someone impressive does come along on the bus. Not like, Plaza Impressive, but definitely Bus Impressive. There were some rappers that came on and walked up and down the bus aisle like they owned the place. I mean, maybe the did own the bus, most of them are such run down piles of junk that they can’t cost much. In any event, Spanish, being a very quickly spoken language, is even more impressive when rapping at speed, though I have no idea what was said.

I like to imagine it was something about their love for the Doobie Brothers and apologizing for interrupting our bus ride.

Currently, I have a bit of a cold, and no guitar. I think now is the proper time to showcase my a Capella talents by singing Queen and Disney Princess Songs.

Wish me luck! Or in the Bus Theater World, Burn a Clutch!


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